My kind of femininity

I have always been a bit of a tomboy. I wasn’t on any official sports teams in school but I participated in a lot of neighborhood basketball, football, baseball, and various other outdoor activities. Even as I got older and started to “notice boys”, although I’d wear makeup and play with my hair color, I wasn’t overly concerned with my looks. My hair was usually kept short because I hated dealing with it. I bit my nails and never bothered with nail polish. I dressed like a slob most of the time with a uniform of t-shirts and jeans. In fact, even now at age 51, I’m still most comfortable in my grubs. Why not? I work at a group home where I do a lot of cleaning. I’m not going to wear a Chanel suit to clean the bathrooms!

Am I feminine enough?

I guess it depends on who you ask. My husband always tells me he thinks I’m beautiful. I have friends and family members who say I am fairly attractive. However, on most days, I dress like someone who should’ve been on the TV show What Not To Wear. I have never had a mani/pedi. I still wash my face with Noxema, like I have since I was 13. I will probably not ever get Botox. When I wear dresses and skirts, I feel like Tim Curry in drag. I don’t read fashion magazines unless I’m in a waiting room.

Am I feminine enough?

Well, enough for whom? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? What one person sees as attractive may seem hideous to someone else. As long as I’m comfortable in my own skin, isn’t that what matters?

You probably won’t ever look at me and think, “Wow! She must be a supermodel!” but that’s OK with me. It taken me years to accept my body issues and develop my own sense of style (or lack thereof). My womanly curves have kept my husband pretty happy over the past 3 decades. My body has brought 4 amazing people into this world. I am smart, creative, and lots of other great positive words. I am Woman, hear me roar!

I don’t need to subscribe to the world’s idea of femininity. Am I feminine enough? You betcha! I am the woman God has created me to be. To try to be something else would be foolish, insincere, and an insult to my Heavenly Father who loves me just as I am. My imperfections make me unique, a one-of-a-kind creation of a womanhood meant to be celebrated. I don’t need to be lamented over because I’m different from the ideals I see reflected throughout American media.

My children are all adults. I hope my daughters continue to embrace their own unique beauty. I hope they don’t let themselves get caught up in the traps designed to push women to conform to unrealistic images of what is beautiful and acceptable. I hope my sons look beyond the world’s ideas of feminine mystique and see women for who they are as individuals, not just as prey to be conquered.

What is your idea of true femininity? If you are a woman, are you living up to your own standards? If you are a man, can any woman ever measure up to your fantasy? If so, good for you. If not, what do you think should change?

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