If you ask just about anyone what one of the most heartwrenching things to deal with is, I would guess they would say dealing with loss. Whether it’s the loss of a family member, friend, opportunity, dream…it hurts. And it takes a long time to heal, sometimes your entire life.
For me, it was hard to get over the loss of my 2 babies I miscarried. In addition to losing the dream of holding those precious children in my arms and watching them grow, I also had to face the guilt I felt in losing them. I felt that if I had done something, anything different, they might still be alive.
Looking back, I realize now that, although I may never understand why God chose this for me and my husband, it was God’s will. I was fortunate enough that I was able to conceive 3 more children after my miscarriages, including a set of twins. I have been blessed to be able to minister of other women who have dealt with miscarriages, stillbirths, and other types of pregnancy loss. If any of the pain I went through can help someone else, I am willing to share my experiences, the way other women so graciously shared their experiences with me.
We have had many deaths in my family, particularly on my husband’s side. We have lost both of his parents, one of his sisters, our niece, and a few others. Death of a loved one is never easy, even as believers. The pain is intense, but at least, as a God-lover, I know that God will walk through the pain with me. I cannot imagine going through life without that support from my Heavenly Father. However, for many years, I did.
I went through a long period of turning my back on God, actually hating Him for the circumstances in my life and losses I faced, including the loss of relationships and friendships I’d had. I blamed God for everything I didn’t want to take responsibility for, including my bad choices. It took me truly bottoming out to see that He was protecting me from much more than He allowed to affect me. Once I realized that and submitted to His Will in my life, the pain of loss started to ease. It never completely goes away, but it is manageable.
Had my 2 babies lived, I would not have the 3 that I have been blessed to have. Maybe God will bless you through some kind of loss as well. Maybe someone can be blessed by you sharing your pain. Maybe someone can be blessed by sharing their pain with you. Nothing we go through is ever wasted. We can take every experience and learn from it, teach from it, draw life from it. Use the pain of loss to accept the gain that you will undoubtedly receive. God loves you with an everlasting love. Let Him help you through your pain. Let Him walk through it with you.
Embrace the beauty of the work you’re doing on your life. Know that you are loved and cherished by God.
Build your pyramid.